lynsangelic1: (Others:Kristen Bell)
This post was going to be about my plans for becoming a political revolutionary and why.  But I haven't properly sorted it out in my head yet.  I also haven't decided if I can be completely serious and committed to agenda - which I haven't really sorted out yet either.  More of a pressure group, not on the government directly at first, but on the general population.  I'm tired and frustrated with the exceedingly apathetic and ill-informed nature of the vast majority of the people in Britain and something needs to be done to galvanise people because things are becoming increasingly worse (I'm not even talking about the imminent recession which is plain for everyone to see - but more issues on the world stage and nationwide) and it seems like no one actually gives a shit.  It "doesn't affect them" ergo why do anything?  Why not let the (Westminster) government and the capitalist regime become more corrupt, inbalanced and extreme? - It doesn't "affect" us, so why care?

This past week I've been thinking lots about Network.  I saw it a couple of years ago but the the Mad as Hell speech keeps flashing in my mind.  Every time it does, I tell the nearest person in my vicinity about it - and thus far, no one's seen Network. I know it's an older film, but I didn't think it obscure.

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's no one anywhere that seems to know what to do with us. Now into it. We know the air is unfit to breathe, our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad. Worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don't go out anymore.

We sit in a house as slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster, and TV, and my steel belted radials and I won't say anything."

Well I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crying in the streets. All I know is first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm a human being. God Dammit, my life has value."

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" I want you to get up right now. Get up. Go to your windows, open your windows, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Things have got to change my friends. You've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open your window, stick your head out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

I think this is what's needed.  People need to get mad.  They need to care.  But I have so little faith, I just don't see it. 

On the other hand, I could do nothing: Watch as Labour fall apart (Well, I wouldn't of been helping them anyway), Shudder as Tory get into power and then have the Independence referendum right around the corner which will surely pass - as the polling increases as does SNP Holyrood approval rate but when you add in Tory rule, the people of Scotland (Independents/Unionists/Undecideds/Could Care Less's) will do anything to stop the Conservative's from having power in Scotland. 

Perhaps in 2010 I'll see the political awareness/drive that I wish to see from a majority, instead of the minority.


The play's still not done (and I can't be writing fanfic until it's done and I've had a few idle ideas lately).  Have done nothing remotely related to writing today.  Nothing.  But then it is Saturday, traditionally the day to immerse myself in football for 8 or 9 hours, forget everything else and be innately, unhealthy obsessed with eleven men.

Oh, and finally watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Good, if quite distressing.  Watching my KBell let Russell Brand sex her actually nearly caused me to vomit. I am not kidding.  I had that strong a reaction.  And that's because I know where he's been.
lynsangelic1: (X Files:Mulder and Scully)
Why is it so easy to find newspaper articles online in TV drama?

They have this one, simple, clean looking page.  They type in what they're looking for and it's go go go.  The more ambitious dramas will have them trying two or three search terms to show that they're arduously working on the problem by battering a keyboard on this excellent search engine which always give them what they're looking for.  Some even go so far as to produce three or four links conveniently under each other which indicate a 'pattern' or whatever.

Anyway.  My point is - I do not have that search engine.  I have google  - Which I've always loved.  But it's let me down tonight.

Will I have to go to the library and look through microfische screen caps (no idea how to actually spell that, but I'm sure it's the term) of old newspapers?  And it was only a year ago!

June 5th 2007 a 68 year old woman in Scotland developed the bubonic plague which turned to pneumonic.  I want to know where etc but I cannot find a thing about it.  Except on wiki, which is where I found it in the first place.

The conclusion I'm slowly coming to is that wiki is lying to me - as is very possible being a mass-edited enclyclopedia.  This makes me sad.  I don't think it's lied to me before.

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust the internets ever again...

In other news, I watched Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog last night - Bravo Whedon!  Once again you make me giddy, sad, involved, intrigued and left with the need to sing every song loudly and out of tune.  If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do at once.  That's a man who put his downtime during the WGA strike to good use.  It's still free online so there's really no excuse.  Unless you have a suck connection.  Then I recommend download.
lynsangelic1: (Other:Suicide Note)
Do not go on this site.

It's procrastination in it's purest form.  I know it's not just me who can sit, dead eyed, blank soul and an active index finger which just keeps pressing 'Deal' for a new game of Solitaire.  Well, this site is much, much worse.  I haven't actually explored any of the dozens of games on offer, bar one - 9 ball pool.  It's getting ridiculous. I must stop.

I've done many things to procrastinate from writing in the past wee while and it seems like every time I settle down, something distracts me - phone call, text, dog...  I've set myself a deadline on Sunday night.  I work so much better to deadlines.  I've even written it in red pen on my calendar.  Hopefully that will be the sufficient kick up the ass I need.

I've been listening to a bit of Morissette today and when listening to 21 Things I Want In A Lover I wondered how many conditions I would actually fill.


  1. Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
    Depends who but usually yes.  I can’t help but be bitter if I dislike the person.

  2. Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
    I play fair but may quietly sulk if comprehensively beaten.

  3. Do you have a big intellectual capacity?
    I believe so.

  4. But know that it alone does not equate wisdom?

  5. Do you see everything as an illusion?

  6. But enjoy it even though you are not of it?

  7. Are you both masculine and feminine?
    I do enjoy boypants, beer and football so we’ll say yes.

  8. Politically aware?

  9. And don't believe in capital punishment?
    Absolutely don’t believe.  But I believe if I was ever in the position of someone close to me being killed, I’d want the perpetrator swinging.  But that’s why we have a legal system.

  10. Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
    Complex question, Alanis.  I would have to go with yes.  I usually have to be pushed before ‘diving in’ though.

  11. Are you funny?
    I hope so.  Otherwise I’ve just been getting pity laughs my entire joke-making life.  Or they’re all laughing at me.

  12. A la self-deprecating?
    Only with good friends.

  13. Like adventure?
    I like what I consider adventure, but haven’t been in any treasure caves recently.

  14. And have many formed opinions?
    Too many.

  15. Are you uninhibited in bed?
    Can be.

  16. More than three times a week?
    Yes, more than 3 times a week – Would you like an estimate first,, Alanis?

  17. Up for being experimental?
    The extent of your ‘experimental’ intrigues me, so I’ll say yes.

  18. Are you athletic?
    I try but not really.

  19. Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?

  20. Are you not addicted?
    Oh, I have many addictions.

  21. ...curious and communicative...
    Yes, yes.


Looks like 17/21.  I cannot believe that I am so bored that I accidentally created a meme.  Urgh.

Need big rock to head immediately please.

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lynsangelic1: (Other:Delete internet)
Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service,

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Maryhill police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the
idea and try e-mailing you instead.
Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Maryhill by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.

As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in Balfour Street which is just Off Kelvindale Road.  Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite.
This causes an earth shattering CLANG! Which rings throughout the entire building.
This game is now in it's third week and as I am unsure how the scoring sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins.
One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed.
I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it's side between the two bins.
If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it.
I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.
Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this:
After replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around - then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again.
This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.
I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month
head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain sir, your obedient servant

Mr ??????,
I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.
As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.
Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

PC ???
Community Beat Officer

Dear PC ?????
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail.16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Maryhill Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it's own community beat officer.
May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills.In the five or so years I have lived in Balfour Street, I have never seen you.
Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Maryhill such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to
these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.
The pitch behind the Wrecky or the one at Cleveden Secondary are both within spitting distance from said street.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on ??? ????.
If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in Harveys.

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department.
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lynsangelic1: (HP:Masturbate JKR kills)

My Top 5 (tagged by [profile] zee014 - Who else would give me such a task?)

1) List 5 celebrities you would consider having sex with without even asking questions (provided they smelled good).
2) Put all of them IN ORDER of your lust for them [5 - 1, 1 is the hottest].
3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
4) Supply photos for said people.
5) Tag five people


5 – Elizabeth Perkins

Lovely.  Just lovely.  Her hair's quite strawberry blonde here, but often quite red.  As Celia Hodes, she is one of the hottest women ever to say 'fuck'.  Weeds would be the thing that turned me onto her.  But I do remember thinking she was very beautiful as a child watching Miracle on
34th Street.


4 – Jennifer Garner


Though this is an undeniably racy picture, the reason I like Garner is that she’s so naturally beautiful and wholesome, especially when smiling.  She’s got that strong jaw, sun kissed skin thing that I like.  Many people may not think that a ‘thing’ but it is to me.  Alias would be the show that introduced me to JG.

3 – Kristen Bell


My obsession with KB has been well-documented in this journal.  She’s just so classy, beautiful and smart.  I first saw her in Veronica Mars, squealed like a little bitch when she turned up in Heroes as I hadn’t read any spoilers for her casting but it was my dream that spurred on the love.

2 – Kate Winslet


First adored in Titanic, then in Jude and Heavenly Creatures.  My love grew as she acted her socks off in the terrific Quills and was cemented truly in Eternal Sunshine’s crotch showing scene in the 70’s dress with red hair.  Myself and another pervy little friend clutched each other and squealed in the cinema as this moment.  Were we embarrassed?  No, not a bit!

1 – Angelina Jolie


First, last and probably always.  I think Jolie splits opinions but she is undeniably beautiful, even if she isn’t your cup of tea.  Loved her in Tomb Raider – a friend of mine buying her and me matching Lara Croft posters from the local video shop – and tracked her back catalogue to Gia and this is where the love bloomed.  I’ve seen most of what she’s done – both good and bad – but she remains immensely talented.  She’s talented and fierce yet sometimes appearing vulnerable and gentle.  Plus, the lips aren’t exactly a turn off either.

Honourable Mentions to: Catherine Zeta Jones (Huge Chicago era crush), Sandra Bullock (because I rewatched Speed the other day), Winona Ryder (Because I like the way she talks. And steals) Christina Ricci (I even fancied her in Casper – but it’s not wrong as I’m younger), Kate Walsh (who would be in the top 5, were it not for the true guffity of Private Practice), Natalie Portman (whose clear talent makes me hot and bothered), Claire Danes (Sooo pretty), Eliza Dushku (I’m sure I would struggle to walk afterwards), Jennifer Beals (Just because), Leighton Meester (Also, just because), Megan Mullally, Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt and many, many more.


Really.  It would’ve been easier to make a top 100.

And now other stuff.  Well I’ve been watching a couple of movies lately.  I do go through phases where I’ll have the patience and/or time to sit down and enjoy a film and then I’ll watch loads.  Then I’ll watch nothing for months.  It cycles.


Seen Dark Knight.  As many, many others have.  Very enjoyable, well written, well acted and I’d say that I liked it better than Batman Begins.  However, this craziness over at IMDB which ranks it number one of all time - above Shawshank Redemption and Gia - is just nonsense.   I have full faith that the balance to the universe will be restored in a few months once everyone’s shit has calmed down.


Rewatchings of Casino and Speed followed, both being enjoyed thoroughly.  Casino remains my favourite Scorcese movie – an opinion which is often scoffed at.  I care not.


Then watched Poseidon tonight (I was in the mood for sinking ship stuff after the Doctor Who similar type Xmas special.)  I’m a fan of disaster films – good trash to get swept up in, I say.  I’m also funnily enough, a fan of Kurt Russell (Maybe because I fancy both his partner and daughter).  I’ve grown accustomed to his face.  Poseidon got me thinking about what I would do in such a situation (as most disaster films do).  I was getting immensely pissed off at Mia Maestro’s whiny character - so much so that I had to express my opinion to the screen with a series of grunts and then later shrieking ‘OH MY GOD YOU GIT, JUST GET ON WITH IT! IT’S NOT THAT DIFFICULT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!  YOUR IDIOCY IS GOING TO GET EVERYONE KILLED!’


Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that if I was ever in a disaster situation, I would vet my crew or accompanying party while I make a break for safety.


Claustrophobic?  Panic attacks?  Then no, sorry, stay here and die with the others. I can’t have you spazzing out at possibly the worst moment


Drunk?  No, no.  It’s best you stay here and enjoy your last moments as you will surely make some hideous inebriated mistake and die horribly.  But not before acting like a jackass and causing discord in the group.


Weak/injured but too noble for own good?  Sorry.  I’ll just get attached to you and then you’ll die to either save the rest of us or because you were too slow or pathetic.


Child?  No.  Just NO.  I realise that in Poisedon they needed they little moron to get past one challenge, but really, who the hell wanders off while on a sinking ship?  You get bored with all the imminent danger and death? Idiot.


Kurt Russell?  Yeah.  OK.  You’ve got me there.  I do want you on my team.  While others would pick Willis, Stallone or even Van Damme: I’m sticking with Russell.

I imagine there are probably more criteria.

And a final word on the new Half Blood Prince trailer - Voldemort Begins, or what?  Barely saw any Hermione.  Humph.  But the mini-Voldemort kid looks ace.  The pensieve vials look... highly suggestive.  It's estimated that slash writers have produced 176% more fanfic since the release of this trailer.

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lynsangelic1: (HP: Filch/Mops)
Hmm. I feel the need to post although I really have nothing to post about.  I suppose I could talk about many things... The triumph in the Glasgow East by-election; the dirty little fic bunnies hatching (because plot bunnies come from eggs); my joy at having finally found something I want to listen to in my music collection after weeks of 'Urgh, I'm sick of this'; the immense satisfaction I got from putting together a garden table today; the black squirrel (at least I think it was black) that scared me and the puppy half to death today by coming this (imagine I'm holding my hands apart at a so-so distance) close; or the fact I'm intolerably hot and unable to say anything vaguely interesting in this unwelcome humidity.

Spose the reason to post may be my icon, cropped by IJ icon maker from the work of art made in Paint (because PSP gives me brain freeze and I feel there are just too many buttons that do relatively the same thing - can't they just have an icon wizard or something?  Shouldn't it be easier?  How do people manage to churn out zillions of these things?)  I think it looks a bit like a family portrait.  Daddy Filch, Mummy Penelope Mop and Baby Mrs Norris.

That's all.  I can't think of anything else entirely worthless to say.
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lynsangelic1: (Default)
Mo’ Mops, Mo’ Problems

Author: lynsangelic1

: Hr/G (F/M)

Rating: PG-13 maybe edging on R because Ron’s a tool.  Or should that be because of Ron’s ‘tool’?

: Somewhat sequel to Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches.  Once again we have Hermione and Ginny in Filch’s beloved mop cupboard but more serious topics are on the agenda than mop-care.

Disclaimer: Blah again.

Authors Notes
: It’s the return of the MopVerse, as promised by the promo in the previous entry. With 10% more mops.  A sprinkling of angst and it’s still not to be taken seriously.  And sweetness crept in there.  Ach.  I’d recommend reading Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches otherwise you might wonder where all this ‘mop’ stuff is coming from.  I’d also recommend [personal profile] lash_larue’s hilarious and disgusting Weasley really IS our king for an explanation on the Ron and Draco stuff.

I intended this fic to be uber silly from the title but it didn’t really end up that way.  I couldn’t bear to change the title though because I honestly think it’s the best title I’ve ever come up with.  And I’m usually rubbish at choosing titles.

lynsangelic1: (BtVS:Buffy cam Your plan didn't work bit)

The amount of joy one can achieve in Paint cannot be measured in minutes alone.  It also cannot be measured in beans.  It just is.

A very crappy, very tacky, very loving graphic to celebrate MopLove and a forthcoming mini fic (which thus far doesn't actually have a personal appearance by Mr Filch.)

Let's all laugh, shall we?  It's good for the soul.

And anyone who has absolutely no idea what I'm on about check here and the following comments.  Remember: There's no love like MopLove.
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lynsangelic1: (Default)
And on my meander through the f-list I see that I've been tagged by [personal profile] acoustics1220 and I am nothing if not obedient (/lie) and a sucker for meme’s to waste time.  However, I shall not tag because mostly I think anyone on my f-list I tagged would point and laugh at me. 


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lynsangelic1: (Default)

Anyone who has been on my flist for any length of time know that I do indeed like to flutter off for weeks on end and then come back, posting like it’s going out of fashion, and then flutter off again.  Can’t help it.  I get distracted…

Condensed update aka Things I have been doing since gone in no particular order


  • Went through one of my ebay phases – thus far I’ve bought: three pairs of brand new jeans for next to nothing; Battlestar Galactica miniseries and season 1 (which has been highly rec’d and I bought for a collective £3.70); a book about football hooliganism; Mamet’s Olenna; 2 Methuen play anthologies of Cartwright and Fo and the Alias ps2 game.  I’m stopping right now.  I’ve been looking at the weirdest things and it’s just time to stop.
  • Working on my latest opus.  I feel in my bones that this is the one. It’s the damn one.  The bloody black absurdist post modern nightmare semi-comedic fucked up thing is it.  It has to be.  I’ve been working on this for the last six months.  I’ve been having recurring nightmares because of it.  I’ve cancelled on friends to be with it.  And lying in a lovers arms, she posed the notorious question “What you thinking?”  After secret eye-rolling, I made her reply first in order to give me some time to think about what I was thinking about – “Your nails,” she replied.  “The black plague” was my unchanged answer.  I should have lied because I don’t think she was too impressed with the truth.
  • Got into Doctor Who just in time for the finale.  After being so badly wounded by it, I’m not sure that was the correct decision.
  • Having weird dreams.  Not just the one caused by the latest play but another.  No remotely sexy dreams with Kristen though - confound it! 
  • The recurring nightmare involved a secret society hidden under the floor boards of a pub and then the place being flooded with a gaseous sludge.  I’m trying to find this wanky OxBridge type society to save them but it’s impossible.  A police person in a gas mask runs in, handing me a gas mask and together we look.  But the sludge is so thick and it hardens by the minute.  The other person is dying, now stuck in the sludge.  She takes off their mask to reveal someone close I’ve never quite got over losing the way I did.  I struggle through the sludge to save her but it’s too late.  Taking me by surprise, she kisses me lightly and leans to whisper her last words.  But I never hear them as she either dies or I wake up.  I had this dream about 10 times in a fortnight - I always survive, she always dies and I never hear what she was going to say.  One of those dreams that really sink into you.  Horrible.  Distressing.  Glad they’ve stopped now.
  • The other dream involved me jetting off to Portugal on the spur of the moment.  While waiting for a flight home, the desk clerk takes me to see the Portuguese Man O War jellyfish (Because, yes, they obviously have them in easy reach of airports).  I climb over the wall to see them clearly, standing on some rocks that jut out over the water.  The jellyfish are quite beautiful, until three of them ‘jump’ and sting my legs.  Already paralysis is setting in.  The desk clerk takes me to a hotel room and tells me that’s it.  There’s nothing he can do.  I’m dying.  So, panicked, I get on my crappy phone and try to call everyone I can as the creeping paralysis travels up my body.  I only get through to my sister and an old uni friend I’ve not spoken to in a while and blurt out the whole story, adding a ‘love you, bye’ then giving them barely any time before I tell them I have to call someone else.  The paralysis is total and I feel myself dying.  End of dream.
  • When telling this to friends, they’ve laughed.  And I’ve been hurt.  The dream was pretty fucked and really frightening because (with the exception of jumping jellyfish) everything was so real. There was no stupid dream stuff or unexplainable crap.  Every detail was very life like and the paralysis was terrible.  Urgh.  Dreams.
  • Became a basketcase for an hour when reading some Sarah Kane plays, thinking that I’d lost my powers of theatrical comprehension, freaking out and then tossing the book across the room.  What a drama queen (shudder – A moniker I’ve never been comfortable with)
  • Filled the non-watching professional football hole with that of playing.  Such a novelty idea, huh?  I don’t think it’ll catch on.
  • Learned stuff. Probably.
  • Pondered the notion of what modern treason is since the Queen was visiting the town 10 miles away from me and the place was crawling with police for a week. I always find the thought that we’re theoretically ruled by an OAP with a perm really funny.  I’ve always been quite anti-royalty – I cannot justify the logic of supporting a monarch to the tune of 60 million or so a year – Although Helen Mirren softened me for a good while.  There were bikini pictures of Mirren in the tabloid the other day – they were quite worthy of a zee014 glossy picspam.  I can’t help myself – I know perpetuating this crush is damaging what little reputation I have but it’s impossible.  I’ll show you three hot Helen pictures and I’d defy anyone remotely attracted to females not to give a little smile and a whimper.  Oh.  God.  Stop.  How can I go from intellectually thinking about the royalty tax in our fragile class society to outing my long running crush over a 60 year old?  Oh.  Jesus.  Christ.
  • Dyed my hair dark red.  I’m quite loving it.
  • And more stuff I can’t remember or don’t want to remember…

And the last thing I have been doing?  Missing you all, of course.

Since my paid account has lapsed (probably will update tomorrow), I now get ads, which I normally don't really notice but this one to the very right of the post entry space caught my eye.

Fat? You Have Parasites

Living Inside "You" Making You Fat! Don't Believe It? See It For Real.

WTF, I say! WTF?  Charment.


And now I go dallying around the flist (Thank God for the personal journal filter), so if you get a comment from an entry from weeks ago, I couldn’t help myself.


So, how are you?

lynsangelic1: (Other:Freud ships you/your mom)
*hands waving in the air*

That would be me.  And I'm just fine with it.

I'm giving you ample forewarning that this entry will be a veritable collation of crap.  When I decide what I'm writing.  I suppose I'll start with the news.

RIP George Carlin.  I'm too young to have known most of his work, but I very much enjoyed his roles in Kevin Smith movies.  Good long life though.

Megan Mullally baffled by nude demand before 50.  Am I the only perv in the room who wouldn't mind seeing this come to pass?  Probably.  My misguided friend and I wanted to emulate Karen during first year of uni, until we realised that neither of us takes prescription drugs and I simply can't drink spirits continually without passing out at some point.  As a poor back up, she went as Karen for hallowe'en and I went as Oz as God for the third year running and laughed in a silly high voice.

My £3 bet on Spain to win the European Championships is still safe, as we narrowly edged Italy out the other night.  Now the stakes are higher ('How can they be higher than the princely sum of three pounds?' I hear you ask.)  Claire, who has just threw her hat in the ring for Germany (late comers, pfft) and I have agreed to a forfeit dare should the others team win.  We haven't decided the forfeit yet - suggestions?

I've been listening to a lot of Cher lately (pre '94 Cher, certainly not Believe era Cher) which can only mean I'm contemplating life's most serious issues.  Seriously.  Something about grandiose rock operatic ballads causes great contemplation.  Also, found a random Smithereens song, Blood and Roses on my playlist (presumably from Romy and Michelle) and downloaded more.  However anytime I listen to this catchy 80's pop rock it's steathily followed by The Smiths which is making me want to gouge my eyes out when I realise.  Not because I hate them, but if I'm not in the mood for The Smiths it makes me feel like going Oedipus then crying in a dark, damp corner with a newspaper over my head.  I don't know why.  The sensible solution is to either delete The Smiths or play russian roulette by putting winamp on random.

I succumbed to Doctor Who and have started from the beginning of the new incarnation.  Thoughts of 'God, this is well naff' turned to feelings of unbridled amusement and joy.  I don't quite think an addiction of epic scale has begun, but I'm certainly enjoying it.

Jesus.  I thought I had more to say than this assortment of skittle-type fruityness.  Apparently not
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lynsangelic1: (BtVS:Fuffy knife enemies)

HP edition.


1. The first character I fell in love with

Hermione Granger.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now

Ginny Weasley.  Because, y’know, in the first book she was this barely-there, starstruck little wean.  Ginny or Bellatrix.  I think before I really got to know Bella, I was in the ‘OMG, but she’s so evil!!!11’ camp.  Then I got to know and love her and now I’m in the ‘Yes.  She’s evil.  She’s deliciously, fanatically evil’ place.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don't

James or Sirius.  Sometimes I’m so incredibly annoyed by them that I can’t sit still while reading.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates

It’s really hard to gauge the hate of a character in a fandom this big. I'm sure plenty of fangirls hate Bella because she - OMG killed Sirius! So, we'll go for Bella.

5. The character I used to love but don't any longer

Merope Gaunt.  No.  Kidding.  I don’t think there’s any in the HP fandom that I’ve swung that dramatically on.

6. The character I would shag anytime

Lily.  Or Hermione.  Or Ginny.  Or Bella.  Or any of the Black sisters.

7. The character I'd want to be like

*straight face*  Filch.

8. The character I'd slap

Filch, in a kinky way.  James Potter.

9. A pairing that I love

Filch/mops. Hermione/Ginny.

10. A pairing that I despise

mops/brooms.  Ron/Hermione - come on, you saw that coming, didn’t you?  Failing that – Lily/James.  I’m really don’t understand the school-bully-turned-nice-guy thing and Lily shouldn’t have forgotten the past so easily.  James was a horrid little twerp.



BtVS/AtS edition


1.  The first character I fell in love with

In innocent love – S1-2 Buffy Summers.  In lusty, dirty, filthy love? Faith.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now

Anya and Fred.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don't

Andrew.  Fuck fuck fuck Andrew.  Yes, three fucks are necessary.  I hate that little git.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates

Hm, this is difficult.  Would Darla or Lilah be particulary hated?  I don’t think they are.  Glory? 

5. The character I used to love but don't any longer

Spike.  Loved Spike in s2 and his dynamic with Dru and thought he was cleverly written into season 4.  I can still enjoy a witty line from Spike during 6&7 but as soon as he starts with the ‘Oh, Buffy, I love you so much that I’d kid on getting my own soul back even though I was clearly looking for the chip because there is no way I’d be idiotic enough to want a soul back, especially seeing what it did to Angelus but somehow I ended up with this soul and blah blah blah’ crap I scream at the TV.

6. The character I would shag anytime

Faith.  Darla.  Glory.  At the same time.  Now that’s crazy!sex.  Add Dru and it’s fully-fledged insane.

7. The character I'd want to be like

*straight face*  D’Hoffyrn.

8. The character I'd slap

Connor.  Andrew.

9. A pairing that I love

Buffy/Faith.  Willow/Tara.  Buffy/Angel (Yes, I am a nostalgic sap.)

10. A pairing that I despise


Edit: because of format fuckage.  Is anyone else experiencing the same difficulties or is it just me?  It happened last night as well.  I believe it must be firefox3's fault but just checking in case it's an LJ thing.

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lynsangelic1: (HP:Hermione Blokes God you're stupid)

Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches

Author: [personal profile] lynsangelic1

Pairing: Hr/G, Hr/R

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Remember that book from Deathly Hallows?  The book that helped Ron Weasley improve his skills with the ladies?  Yeah.  That book.

Disclaimer: Blah.

Authors Notes: This didn’t really start as a fic.  It was an anti-Hr/R ship manifesto disguised as a fic but adding Hr/G usually spurs me to write more than necessary so it grew a little beyond the original intention.  Kinda silly turned to kinda fluffy.  It has no place in actual canon. 

I decided to write this after [personal profile] lash_larue threatened to write Hr/R smuttiness in retaliation to my usual angst.  I’m quickly learning that Lash does not threaten – she executes.  So this is for you, Lash.



lynsangelic1: (HP:DE-Bunnies)
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

lynsangelic1: (HP:Slytherin : I wish to do more violenc)
So I registered for today (I can't even remember how or why I found it).  It says it's one of- if not the oldest HP archive. 

Holy shit! says me.  How have I never heard of it?

But to be honest, I'm not entirely surprised.  I've only reached the halfway point in the internet, so there's a whole 50% still to discover.  *shrugs* S'alright.

I'm trying to upload IOY, just to whore it out a little more.  I've reached the 'create a new story' bit.  Blah, rating.  Blah, summary.  Blah, pairing...

Wait.  Where is my pairing?  Where?

If you can see it below, then I most likely have black spots in my vision.  Which is probably caused by too much rose wine (not tonight, I just mean in general) and I probably have liver failure.

<input ... >Arthur/Molly
<input ... >Bill/Fleur
<input ... >Cho/Cedric
<input ... >Draco/Pansy
<input ... >Ginny/Dean
<input ... >Harry/Cho
<input ... >Harry/Ginny
<input ... >Hermione/Krum
<input ... >James/Lily
<input ... >Lucius/Narcissa
<input ... >Remus/Tonks
<input ... >Ron/Hermione
<input ... >Ron/Lavender
<input ... >Dean/Luna
<input ... >Draco/Ginny
<input ... >Draco/Hermione
<input ... >Draco/Luna
<input ... >Harry/Hermione
<input ... >Harry/Luna
<input ... >Hermione/FredOrGeorge
<input ... >Neville/Luna
<input ... >Remus/Lily
<input ... >Ron/Luna
<input ... >Rose/Scorpius
<input ... >Sirius/Lily
<input ... >Snape/Lily
<input ... >Snape/Narcissa
<input ... >Teddy/Victoire
<input ... >Draco/OC
<input ... >Ginny/OC
<input ... >Harry/OC
<input ... >Hermione/OC
<input ... >James/OC
<input ... >Lily/OC
<input ... >OC/OC
<input ... >Remus/OC
<input ... >Ron/OC
<input ... >Sirius/OC
<input ... >Snape/OC
<input ... >Other Pairing

Now.  I see that the first column and a bit deals with canon couples.  I'm cool with that.  List them first, by all means.  Then we come to popular UC's - Draco/Ginny, Harry/Hermione (How much funnier would it be if the bottom box of the 2nd column read: Hermione/FredAndOrGeorge?). 

So further down and still no sign of my ship.  Now I've come to Rose/Scorpius which has been in existence for barely a year and I'm getting a little annoyed, likewise with Teddy/Victoire (even though that is canon).  Snape/Narcissa seems somewhat like a slap in the face.  To be honest, I've never seen that pairing in general ff forum, area or site.  I am sure it is out there, and the people who ship that most likely have good reasons for doing so - but would you say that Snape/Narcissa is more common than Hermione/Ginny?

No, neither would I.

There are no femmeslash/slash couples here, but at all.  Not even the canon Dumbledore/Grindelwald.  WTF is that all about?

I know that, comparatively, femmeslash fandom is not that big.  It's a good sized niche and I think it's stronger for it.  A lot more 12 year olds will write a Harry/Draco than a Fleur/Pansy.  But most archive sites will have the most popular Slash/Fslash pairings - it's not that obscure.

This site claims to be the oldest HP archive.  It has a check box for slash/Fslash in the genre area correction, the warnings area.  *rolls eyes*

So, now here is the question - do I check Ginny/OC or Hermione/OC? (Edit: which is of course completely wrong but what other option is there?)  This is a bit bloody ridiculous. 

What a piece of nonsense.
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lynsangelic1: (BtVS:Buffy cam Your plan didn't work bit)
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

I got my questions from [personal profile] acoustics1220

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lynsangelic1: (Default)
Some may recall this entry about my joy of procuring a can of Itral: German Insekten spray to protect me from the eight-legged visitors.

Tonight I unloaded half a can (seriously.) on this huge huge huge spider.  My bedroom now reeks of chemicals, I'm choking, my bedspread is soaking and I'm afraid to open the window as I'm sure the spider armies are coming for vengeance. 

Damnit.  I was having a nice Saturday off.  I'm very sunburned from yesterday (It takes half an hour of mild sunlight to make me redder than communist China) so I just hung out in the shade, watched the two opening euro 2008 matches, wrote a little, saw friends etc and later was getting ready for bed (in between fainting over [profile] zee014's Kristen Bell picspammy return) when the artist formerly known as Big Fucking Spider dropped down from the curtains onto the bed.  I know, I'm such a child about these things.  It's illogical and it's stupid to be so afraid but I seriously can't help it.  I honestly thought I was getting better.  My puppy is no use at all.  She got very excited about me shouting 'DIE! DIE!  WHY WON'T YOU DIE?' (the sad thing is that is actually verbatim) but when I requested she attack the spider, she didn't seem to comprehend.  Useless.  She has started burying things in the back garden, which is extremely cliched and therefore chortle-worthy.

Anyway, my can was half done when it finally went towards the light (metaphorical light, not physical) so I got the dust buster to suck it up to a dusty grave.  Now I can't sleep.  Well, I want to, but I can't.  I'll probably sleep on my desk tonight, curled in a ball.  When I was a child I would always sleep in my sleeping bag.  Nothing could crawl up and get me if I was zipped in, nice and tight.  I may revert back to those days.

Oh, and speaking of China - re: Sharon Stones comments about Karma and the earthquakes in China - I thought the very same thing too.  It's un-PC, very cold and very inappropriate but I did.  It was the first snarky, sarcastic thing that came into my head when I heard about the earthquakes.  So, Sharon, you're not alone.  I, too, am a sarcastic bitch who made a joke (although, I don't think you were joking) about thousands of dead people, TIbet and karma.  But unlike you I don't think my career is buggered because of it.

Why must I post about the killing of spiders?
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lynsangelic1: (Heroes:Hand lightening closeup)

I’m feeling extremely benevolent tonight and so I bring everyone the joy of Oscar Wilde.  There are a few people, both artistic and not, who can inspire such feelings in me and Wilde would be one of the best.  I’m sure if I made a list of historical figures I would love to meet, he’d be at the top.  His quotables are often witty, always clever and subversively insightful.

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lynsangelic1: (BtVS:Willow/Tara Seeing Red)
Can any of my Potter-inclined f-list tell me roughly when/which month the first Hogsmeade weekend usually takes place? I was thinking November?  Maybe October?  I vaguely recall Hallowe'en in Hogsmeade but there is every chance that was a fic and not, in fact, canon.

Also, did anyone greet this news with a bit of a shudder and stern shake of the head?  Just me then?  A HP prequel... When I read this I thought it would be Marauders era and I punched the air, as that's what comes to mind when prequel is mentioned.  But it's Harry-living-under-the-stairs era.  Glorious. (/sarcasm) It took me several tries to get through the first part of Philosopher's Stone with 'La la la Harry under the stairs with spiders, it's such a sad situation that you must feel for him instantly and bond and blah blah blah.'

Anyway, I don't think it be as twee or kid-aimed as the first bit of P.S but all the images in my head are of abuse!fic.  The Child Called It-Potter style.  I don't know why, but it's all I can think of.  I'm sure it'll be Harry's first bit of magic as a child or whatever because at 800 words how much can you really fit in?

EDIT:  I is dramatically wrong.  Huzzah! [info]carawj pointed me towards this article and it's set three years before Harry's born and concerns James and Sirius.  Muchos thankos.

Spent the morning with the puppy and the hose.  Bad idea.  Now soaking.

Scotland are kicking off a meaningless friendly with half a squad of players in 45 minutes (4.30 on a Friday is such a bizarre time for a friendly).  I feel that we may get gubbed.  I don't particularly want to watch right now because I'm busy writing (hence the Potter related research) but I will.  It is Scotland, after all.

Oh, and does anyone want to read Image of You in Russian?  Soon coming in German.  Shame I can't speak/read a word of either but still quite cool.